Love, Jelani

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Dear Mommy,

Words could never explain the amount of love I have for you. I’m so blessed to have you in my life and I really don’t know where I would be without you. You help guide me through this crazy world through everything I go through whenever I don’t know what to do. Dad helps too, and is always there even though we always argue. Anyways, I have seen you at worst and at your best. I like to think that you’re happy throughout all the bad times because we always have each others backs. The hardest times seeing you was during chemo, especially the first one.

It was so hard seeing you so helpless, and in so much pain. It hurt seeing you so weak, and not knowing what to do to take the pain away from you. Sometimes, even wishing that I could just consume all that weakness and instead of you hurting so much I would rather be in pain. Through that amount of time, from finding out you had breast cancer to getting the text that said that you were cancer free and had beat it, were the times that proved to me that you were the strongest person I know. You broke down here and there, but you always remained strong and optimistic. I love that the most about you, and you alway project that positive outlook for everything. Even when I have doubt in things. you talk to me and show me that things will get better, and you move on.

Remember the day you said I could get my tattoo? That was the best day for me. Not only was it my first tattoo, but it was dedicated to you. I remember the tattoo artist saying, “why don’t you want it to face everyone?” and I refused to get it that way because it was for me and only me. It wasn’t meant for everyone else, because I hold it so special and it reminds me of you, which will always be strength, courage and so much love. Throughout all your crazy moments, that include being mean and angry, to being loving and funny, I will always take you for who you are. (Don’t have much of a choice, really) Just kidding, I know you would get me if I said that and tell me to be quiet.

Anyways, with everything that our little family goes through, we always have each other and you hold us together with all the arguments and yelling even when you get on all of us. Whenever these kind of times come around like your birthday or mother’s day, I like to do things for you because you do so much for me all the time and that’s not more than materialistic things. You help me get through all my problems that I would never know how to handle or solve without you. You’ve shaped me and made me grow so much and you can basically say I’m your little twin. (You may not notice, but we look alike now.) Haha, oh well but all I can say is that I’m extremely blessed  to have you in my life and wouldn’t know what to do without you. I love you, mommy. Please know that and never forget that. Thank you isn’t enough to explain how grateful and thankful I am. I hope you enjoy everything for Mother’s Day.

 

This is my mommy tattoo and a breast cancer ribbon colored in pink that I got on my wrist.

This is my mommy tattoo and a breast cancer ribbon colored in pink that I got on my wrist.

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